you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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