Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
