Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
MIDGETS
????
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
