I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
