We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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