# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
