Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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