I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
