big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
