you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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