I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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