omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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