You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
