I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
