Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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