if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
