Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
