I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
