i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
