i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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