I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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