Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
