Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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