so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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