dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
