I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
