omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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