You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
