I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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