spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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