im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
