you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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