I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
