Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
