i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
