sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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