and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
