Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
