..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
