After last night, I could never be a politician.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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