I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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