there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
