I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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