I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
