even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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