I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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