"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
