Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just had sex bonerless
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
