You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
