you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
