all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
