Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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