Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
