i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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