he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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