Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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