smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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