How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
