Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
