we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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