Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
