GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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