he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The power of my boobs compel you
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
