you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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