Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
