And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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